monkaaay

The 411 on Area Codes

2010-12-14T21:37:00.000-05:00

212 is New York, while the relatively close Boston got 617. 213? Across the country, to Los Angeles. How's this happen?

The answer is pictured at the right. It's all because of the rotary phone.

Before 1951, long distance phone calls required an operator's assistance. On November 10, 1951, that ended, as the mayor of Englewood, New Jersey dialed, directly, the major of Alameda, California. (The call took 18 seconds to connect.) In order to get to that point, however, the phone system infrastructure required overhaul; specifically, the addition of a routing system. Enter area codes.

Until recently, all area codes had either a "1" or a "0" as the middle number. This allowed for local calls to be dialed without the area code, as the switching software would recognize a long distance call by the second digit -- local exchanges never had a 0 or 1 in that spot -- and avoid confusion. But the etymology of specific area codes is more complicated. While ZIP codes are roughly geographic (there's a map for that) though, area codes clearly aren't, as New York (originally only 212) isn't near Los Angeles (213) and Detroit (313) abuts neither Chicago (312) nor St. Louis (314).

Rather, area codes were given out with speed in mind. The bigger the city, the less time it takes to dial that city's number on a rotary phone. New York's 212 is a mere five clicks away; Los Angeles and Chicago are next at six; Philadelphia (area code 215) is eight. Rural American places and some Canadian provinces received larger click amounts -- Montana's 406 is twenty clicks while South Dakota's 605 and Nova Scotia's 902 is twenty-one.

This, of course, also means that the typical emergency telephone number, 9-1-1, is rather long (at eleven clicks), almost twice as long as directory information (4-1-1, six clicks). Why pick such a "long" number? The history behind the selection of 9-1-1 has been lost to antiquity, but best guesses include its near-universal availability, ease in remembering it, and the unlikelihood of an unintentional dialing.

Bonus fact: Originally, the middle number -- either 0 or 1 -- in the area code meant something in and of itself. If a state had only one area code, it's area code had a 0. If it had more than one, all area codes therein had a 1. Much like other numbering conventions, this has since been deprecated.

liNk

To cookie or not to cookie...

2010-12-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

Nude Men Clock

2010-12-02T22:36:00.001-05:00

Click to switch between digital and analog.

Tips for Life

2010-12-02T22:31:00.004-05:00

Be honest. Be honest all the time. This will enable you to be lazy and not have to remember as much.

To prevent impulsive purchases, wait a week before purchasing. If you still want it, buy it; if not, don’t waste your money.

The 60 Second Rule. If there’s something that needs to be done and it takes less than 60 seconds to do, then don’t put it off–do it immediately. If you’re a terrible procrastinator like I am, you’ll be surprised just how much petty shit you can eliminate from your life.

Three things not to be cheap on . . . Bed, Shoes, Toilet Paper

When lighting a fire, use dry pine cones to get things started.

Look for thrift stores that are hard to get to via public transit, they usually have the best stuff.

If you get a brain freeze, press your tongue to the roof of your mouth

Put that you were time’s 2006 person of the year on your resume. In 2006, Time made ‘Everyone” the person of the year

If you forget someones name simply say ” Sorry, what was your name again?” They may look annoyed, but once they tell you say “No, I meant your last name” boom. First and last name.

And the best one:

If you find yourself being lame, stop being lame and be AWESOME instead.

MORE (monkaaay is not responsible for the negative comments of users at that website.)

Hiccups are Funny

2010-12-02T22:31:00.001-05:00

You’re doing it wrong

2010-12-02T22:30:00.001-05:00

iPhone baby quilt – There’s a nap for that

2010-12-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

Refrigerator Guard Dog

2010-12-02T22:28:00.000-05:00

Conversations with God

2010-11-18T21:05:00.002-05:00

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.

She went too far when she took the bacon!

2010-11-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

2010-11-18T20:27:00.000-05:00

Some Cool Clocks

2010-11-18T20:15:00.000-05:00

Sounds about right...

2010-11-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

This makes math more interesting

2010-11-17T08:52:00.000-05:00

Help from an elephant

2010-11-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

hide yo kids hide yo wife

2010-11-16T08:53:00.000-05:00

Kitten Pizza

2010-11-16T08:51:00.000-05:00

Tiny addition could have changed the ending

2010-11-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

Too bad the Wii hadn't been invented in the movie.

Japan to China

2010-11-15T20:47:00.000-05:00

Go to Google Maps

Click on Get Directions

Enter Starting Address as Japan

Enter Ending Address as China

See step # 43.

return of the monkaaay!

2010-11-15T19:43:00.003-05:00

zombie monkaaay has returned from the dead. maybe. it's a trial.

Letter from Frank Sinatra to George Michael

2010-11-15T17:36:00.000-05:00

2010-11-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

-----How to Report the News-------------------

2010-03-11T08:52:00.000-05:00

-----Ninja Bear-------------------------------------------------------

2010-03-10T08:20:00.000-05:00

-----Awesome--------------------------------------------------------

2010-03-09T08:20:00.000-05:00

-----Slow-Mo Dogs--------------------------

2010-03-08T08:24:00.000-05:00

-----Birds=Scary----------------------------------------------------

2010-03-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

-----Washington State Lottery, Great Advertisement--

2010-03-07T08:22:00.000-05:00

If it freezes but you still hear sound, just click ahead a little. It seems slightly messed up.

-----This is the most insane thing ever------------

2010-03-05T19:24:00.001-05:00

From the new album "Of the Blue Colour of the Sky" available at http://www.okgo.net/store
Directed by James Frost, OK Go and Syyn Labs. Produced by Shirley Moyers. The official video for the recorded version of "This Too Shall Pass" off of the album "Of the Blue Colour of the Sky". The video was filmed in a two story warehouse, in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA. The "machine" was designed and built by the band, along with members of Syyn Labs (http://syynlabs.com/ ) over the course of several months. (And I heard it took around 60 or exactly 60 times to get it right!)

-----Terrifying---------------------------------------------------------

2010-03-05T15:45:00.002-05:00

-----Pretty forks n stuff-------------------------------------------

2010-03-05T15:45:00.001-05:00

-----Miss Universe Pageant Winners Chart---------------

2010-03-05T15:44:00.002-05:00

-----Sarah Palin-----------------------------------------------------

2010-03-05T15:44:00.001-05:00

-----Cute Picture Friday------------------------------------------

2010-03-05T05:29:00.000-05:00

-----Gummy Bear Candelier-Chandelier--------------------

2010-03-02T13:36:00.003-05:00

"At Jellio, we really have a sweet spot in our hearts for gummi bears. So it's with great pleasure that we introduce the Candelier...a sweet chandelier made of approximately 5,000 hand-strung acrylic gummi bears. (A process which takes about two months to complete) Only ten will ever be made, and each one will be a little different. So we can quarantee each Candelier is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. A truly spectacular light."

If you want one, lucky for you there is a button on this website that says "I Want One".

This website is awesome too! Check it out! They have gummy bear lights, cupcake tables, a huge ice cream sandwhich bench, and more. But save your money! The boogie man rug, for example is $1,400!

-----Concept Watch------------------------------------------------

2010-03-02T13:31:00.001-05:00

"Aurora is a watch that doesn’t have an apparent dial. There’s more of a transparent face with no signs of the hour or minutes hand. It’s not as if the designer forgot to put them there, he just got innovative and decided to perk up this analog piece by including funky laser light beams for the hands. The red beam indicates the minutes and the blue depicts the hour. They appear only when you tap the bevel edge around the watch ring; until then it’s just a hip jewelry around your wrist."

liNk

-----Map Equipped Treadmill-----------------------------------

2010-03-02T13:29:00.000-05:00

"Want to run up Mt. Kilimanjaro? Do it today. The NordicTrack x7i Interactive Incline Trainer($2,000) is a map-equipped treadmill with a seven-inch touch screen, the treadmill raises and lowers itself to mimic the actual topography of the terrain you set as your own custom hiking route.
The x7i download maps over over Wi-Fi from a Web site called iFit. You can download the popular routes from iFit, as well as you can also design your computer across any territory covered by Google Maps. While you running, the srceen will show the map and snapshots of passing landmarks, it looks Cool!"

-----Redundant Clock---------------------------------------------

2010-03-01T13:41:00.004-05:00

-----Candy Button Wallet----------------------------------------

2010-03-01T13:41:00.001-05:00

by Fred and Friends.

-----Parody Web Site---------------------------------------------

2010-03-01T13:39:00.002-05:00

"The US government has a website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations below. Enjoy!
Note: This parody site was built for fun. For the serious stuff, see our friends protecting our great country at http://www.ready.gov/ or the Department of Homeland Security at http://www.dhs.gov/"

I couldn't pick just one favorite! (Click for larger image.)

liNk

-----Instant Good-Smelling Room----------------------------

2010-02-26T13:35:00.003-05:00

College girls love it.

-----Dumb People--------------------------------------------------

2010-02-26T13:35:00.001-05:00

-----Friday Diversion-----------------------------------------------

2010-02-26T13:31:00.003-05:00

Toss cards into hat. Fun, time wasting, good stuff.

Click here to play.

-----Cute Picture Friday: awe----------------------------------

2010-02-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

-----It's Wednesday------------------------------------------------

2010-02-24T09:28:00.000-05:00

Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.

-----Olympic Coverage Stinks----------------------------------

2010-02-24T09:16:00.000-05:00

"Anyone with plans to curl up on the couch for a long night of ice dancing and ski jumping Monday will have their patience tested. That's because there's a good chance they'll watch more commercials than actual Olympic action.

An analysis of NBC's 3 ½-hour program Friday night showed that there were 56 minutes, 41 seconds of commercials over 24 breaks—that's three more minutes than actual event action that was showed. Ski jumping, which took up about 30 minutes of the broadcast, featured less than two minutes of action, compared with four minutes, 46 seconds of replays (there was, on average, more than one replay per jump). More than half the time during the compulsory-dancing segments showed action, but good luck getting into a rhythm watching the sport: A commercial break separated each routine."

-----New business, great advertising------------------------

2010-02-24T06:19:00.000-05:00

-----Determining Fault in an Accident-----------------------

2010-02-23T12:26:00.003-05:00

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault....women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune' She hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?

'The woman replies, 'No, I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever. (And men get what they have coming to them when they think women are stupid.)

submonkaaayed by lynzi

-----Today's the Last Day... Ever-----------------------------

2010-02-23T11:36:00.002-05:00

-----Faster..... Faster..... ----------------------------------------

2010-02-23T11:36:00.001-05:00

-----Cute Picture Friday on Tuesday------------------------

2010-02-23T11:35:00.000-05:00

-----Mom's------------------------------------------------------------

2010-02-23T11:33:00.001-05:00

The following questions were answered by 2nd grade school children:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

liNk

-----Just sittin' here thinkin' 'bout spring--------------------

2010-02-19T13:15:00.001-05:00

-----Safe Insect------------------------------------------------------

2010-02-19T13:13:00.001-05:00

-----Inivisible man trick--------------------------------------------

2010-02-19T13:12:00.000-05:00

-----Hey Jude Flow Chart----------------------------------------

2010-02-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

-----I Need A Taco!-------------------------------------------------

2010-02-19T13:10:00.000-05:00

-----Cute Picture Friday: Kitten Teamwork----------------

2010-02-19T05:46:00.000-05:00

-----BEST WEBSITE EVER------------------------------------

2010-02-16T12:49:00.002-05:00

From
www.textsfromlastnight.com

you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
(215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM B*%#^$S and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCF&%#$D UP."

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

-----I Like Jesus-----------------------------------------------------

2010-02-16T12:46:00.002-05:00

apparently this is a quote from someone and that's why it comes up, but it's funny!

-----Facebook Warning-------------------------------------------

2010-02-16T12:45:00.000-05:00

-----Throwback Tuesday!----------------------

2010-02-16T08:06:00.000-05:00

-----The Potty--------------------------------------------------------

2010-02-11T09:35:00.003-05:00

A little 3-year-old boy is sitting ont he toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. but about every 15 seconds or so, he puts the book down, drips onto the toilet seat with his let hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while." Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone potty yet." Mother says, "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says, "Works for Ketchup."

submonkaaayed by Lynzi

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-02-10T20:39:00.000-05:00

-----"Pro"Flowers; no so pro--------------------

2010-02-10T15:54:00.002-05:00

So is it roses or tulips "Pro"Flowers?

-----Food Day: Cheese Crackers-----------------

2010-02-10T08:08:00.001-05:00

These cheese crackers were delicious!

Cheese Crackers 
1 1/2 cups (about 6 ounces) grated extra-sharp Cheddar cheese
 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick or 2 ounces) unsalted butter, softened and cut into 4 pieces 
3/4 cup flour, plus more for dusting
 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 teaspoon paprika 1 tablespoon half-and-half [I used coffee creamer b/c I didn't want a buy a whole container of half-and-half and only use 1/4 teaspoon of it]

Preheat oven to 350°F.
In a food processor [I used a mixer, worked fine], combine the cheese, butter, flour, salt, paprika and red pepper in five 5-second pulses until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the half-and-half and process until the dough forms a ball, about 10 seconds.

Shape the dough into a log or whatever sliceable shape strikes your fancy, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until firm enough to be easily sliced, about an hour, and up to a day. (You can speed things up by placing the dough in the freezer for 20 minutes instead.)

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.
Remove the dough from the fridge, slice it thinly and arrange the slices on the prepared sheet (they will expand a little, so give them just a bit of elbow room). You will need to work in batches; return the dough to the fridge between batches.

Bake for 10 to 14 minutes, depending on your oven and the thickness of your slices, until golden. Let the cheese thins rest on the baking sheet for a minute before transferring them to a cooling rack.

liNk

-----Wonderful Words-------------------------

2010-02-10T08:01:00.000-05:00

20 Wonderful Words Which Shouldn't be Allowed to Wither

Pococurante - If you are the owner, sorry parent, of teenagers then you could do worse than to thrust this word under their noses next time they resolutely refuse to tidy up the abomination of untidiness that is their bedroom. For, due to their indifferent, nonchalant and apathetic attitude towards the upkeep of their habitat they are being truly pococutante. This quite often goes hand in hand with the propensity to perendinate – which is to put off till tomorrow what could well be done today. So, your offspring may well be perendinacious pococutantes. Oh yeah

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-02-09T08:38:00.000-05:00

"Use the radioactive ooze!"

-----Throwback Tuesday!----------------------

2010-02-09T08:05:00.002-05:00

-----Wonderful Words-------------------------

2010-02-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

20 Wonderful Words Which Shouldn't be Allowed to Wither

Chaetophorous - You need a shave man – the dual roots of this word are ‘hairy’ and ‘bearing’.

----Valentine's Day Gift Ideas---------------------------------

2010-02-08T13:21:00.003-05:00

From dispair.com we have BitterSweets. (Even though the website doesn't claim that these taste good, they are way better than conversation hearts. I really liked them when someone at work brought them in.)

For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine's Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear's romantic indignities, today's loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come.

When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair Inc. is pleased to announce that we've combined BOTH into a radical new offering. Introducing Bittersweets® - The Valentine's Candy for the Rest of Us.

Like the ubiquitous candy conversation hearts, Bittersweets® are made of flavored, chalky-tasting sugar and sport a message on their face. But unlike other candy hearts, ours are stamped with bitter musings and mockeries perfectly suited to the dejected spirits of those who will spend the holiday alone, or wishing they were. Messages recalling an almost forgotten, unbearably painful memory of being dumped. Or perhaps of a dysfunctional, psychotic ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. Or of that cruel-hearted girl (or boy) in elementary school who rejected your valentine solicitations, informing you that Jake (or Holly) was "so totally way hotter. "Now available in THREE unique collections- "Dejected", "Dysfunctional", and "Dumped"- with each featuring up to 37 unique sayings each!

Truly, Bittersweets® are the perfect gift for you OR for someone you love, especially if that special someone is one who doesn't want to hurt your feelings but just doesn't feel that way about you but still wants to be friends so they can torment you with stories about their crushes on someone who doesn't appreciate them like you do, can't love them like you can, and actually takes pleasure in corralling a herd of fawning "just friends" behind themselves as they indulge in one self-destructive relationship after another, with no hope of ever finding true love, despite an army of souls eager to lavish it upon them.

(You know what we're talking about.)

Supplies are limited. But the pain that accompanies them may not be. Available in six different flavors, including: Banana Chalk, Grape Dust, Nappy-Citric, You-Call-This-Lime?, Pink Sand and Fossilized Antacid.

BitterSweets - Dysfunctional
37 biting barbs for stirring up the bile in toxic relationships of all kinds, including
"NO FIX 4 DUMB",
"SUB PRIME",
"GAME ON TV",
"PAROLE IS UP!",
"RETURN TO PIT", and
"BOOTY INFL8N".

Bittersweets - Dumped
Dumped offers 37 brutal kissoffs including
"U LEFT SEATUP",
"BACK 2 KENNEL",
"I GOT SOBER",
"CELIB8 THX2U",
"CALL A 900#" and
"RUSSIAN BRIDE".

BitterSweets - Dejected
37 depressing sayings for those spending Valentine's Day alone and in a state of self-flagellation, including
"LOSS LEADER",
"SETTLE 4 LESS?",
"TABLE FOR 1",
"I CRY ON Q" and
"DIGNITY FREE".

-----Wonderful Words-------------------------

2010-02-08T08:59:00.000-05:00

20 Wonderful Words Which Shouldn't be Allowed to Wither

There are many words these days that are rarely used – and that is a great shame as even the simple act of their enunciation can bring on a smile, such is their irrefragable brilliance. Go on, drop a few in to your next conversation and ensure their preservation. You are guaranteed to be the cynosure of attention and contesseration will be guaranteed. In other words you will be the life and soul of the party and make many friends.

Verbigeration - We all know someone who is guilty of this, you know. It’s like, you know, when people repeat words or phrases almost, you know ad infinitum. You may also have experienced it in the workplace where Orwellian type ‘speaks’ are common in this day and age of political correctness gone mad. Missing you already.

-----87... 88... 89...--------------------------

2010-02-08T07:55:00.000-05:00

-----Very Funny Weatherman-------------------

2010-02-08T07:53:00.000-05:00

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-02-08T07:40:00.000-05:00

2010-02-07T21:49:00.001-05:00

slow posts b/c i started another blog for my family sorry

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-02-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

-----Valentine's Day Gift Ideas---------------------------------

2010-02-04T09:08:00.000-05:00

Bacon Flavored Chocolate Candy Bar

It says

"Breathe…engage your five senses, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine. Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.

Mo's Bacon Bar: applewood smoked bacon + Alder wood smoked salt + deep milk chocolate, 41% cacao

3oz.

Consume within 6 months "

-----Valentine's Day Gift Ideas---------------------------------

2010-02-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Jacques Torres' Chocolate

Kissing Game

Surprise your lover with champagne and chocolate - together in one sweet little package. Taittinger Rose Champagne unites with our signature chocolate to create a decadent and sensual treat. Every box contains an assortment of dark and milk chocolate kisses, each topped with an adorable "kiss" design! Under each delectable bonbon is a suggestion on where to kiss or be kissed. Get ready to grab your Valentine and pucker up!

Or maybe the spank me paddle cookie.... weird.

-----Wonderful Words----------------------------------------------

2010-02-03T08:51:00.000-05:00

20 Wonderful Words Which Shouldn't be Allowed to Wither

There are many words these days that are rarely used – and that is a great shame as even the simple act of their enunciation can bring on a smile, such is their irrefragable brilliance. Go on, drop a few in to your next conversation and ensure their preservation. You are guaranteed to be the cynosure of attention and contesseration will be guaranteed. In other words you will be the life and soul of the party and make many friends.

Verbigeration - We all know someone who is guilty of this, you know. It’s like, you know, when people repeat words or phrases almost, you know ad infinitum. You may also have experienced it in the workplace where Orwellian type ‘speaks’ are common in this day and age of political correctness gone mad. Missing you already.

-----Valentine's Day Gift Options-----------------------------

2010-02-02T12:53:00.003-05:00

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, I thought I'd provide readers with some gift ideas. First up a Heart Coffee Mug:

"Heart Mug (£12.21) designed by Reiko Kaneko. The handle and its printed shadow completes a heart, clever!
Made in Staffordshire, England"

From Hidden Art Shop. Looks like a pretty cool site too!

-----Wonderful Words---------------------------------------------

2010-02-02T08:40:00.000-05:00

20 Wonderful Words Which Shouldn't be Allowed to Wither

Agastopia - Do you like or admire a particular part of someone’s body – or for that matter that special place on bodies in general? Then that means that you are agastopic. Perhaps you can be relieved in one way – at least you have an alternative work to fetish at long last.

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-02-02T08:37:00.000-05:00

Click to enlarge.

-----Happy Palindrome Day-------------------------------------

2010-02-01T13:50:00.000-05:00

Happy Palindrome Day... sort of

1st of February 2010

01022010

But I write the date mm/dd/yyyy : 02/01/2010 so for me this should have been January 2nd : 01/02/2010

-----Wonderful Words---------------------------------------------

2010-02-01T13:39:00.001-05:00

Nutation - This could also be known as nodding dog syndrome – and quite often it happens at work. Do you have a colleague who – in their keenness to show that they understand and agree with you – nod their heads for so long and so consistently that you become afraid that it will fall off? Then they are demonstrating nutation.

2010-02-01T13:35:00.001-05:00

You arrive in purgatory to find it’s just a typewriter on a desk. As you take your seat, you notice that the C key is glowing faintly.

A demon says, “All you have to do is type the integers, in order: ONE, TWO, THREE, and so on. The first time you strike the C key, you’ll be released into paradise.”

That doesn’t sound too bad. Assuming it takes 10 seconds on average to type each number (and that you spell each correctly, in English), how much time will pass before you first type the letter C?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You’ll type for 300 quintillion years before reaching ONE OCTILLION.

-----Billy Mays Money--------------------------------------------

2010-02-01T13:33:00.001-05:00

-----Friday Diversion: this is sand-----------------------------

2010-01-29T12:37:00.002-05:00

thisissand.com

press or double click to drop sand

C= color picker
E= erase the drawing
M= mute sound
left/right arrows= switch between selected colors

drag between two colors in the picker to get a gradient

fun stuff!

-----Cute Picture Friday: Our New Puppy!-----------------

2010-01-29T12:27:00.002-05:00

-----Funny Test Answers----------------------------------------

2010-01-29T10:37:00.000-05:00

Click to enlarge.

----Funny Test Answers-----------------------------------------

2010-01-28T13:35:00.000-05:00

-----Rainy Mood-----------------------------------------------------

2010-01-28T12:44:00.003-05:00

Rainy Mood
Add gentle rain to your environment. Enhance your music. Sleep better. Relax.

A 15-minute high-quaility loop that you can use as a background to other music or on it's own.

liNk

-----Hmmmm--------------------------------------------------------

2010-01-28T09:33:00.002-05:00

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was a 2 1/2 year old little girl. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

submonkaaayed by lynzi

-----Egg Watchers-------------------------------------------------

2010-01-27T14:22:00.002-05:00

"We've designed EggWatchers with hopes to banish forgetting, boredom, and bad cooking. We've done our best to make sure it's awesome and works and stuff, but the fact is - we're not responsible for any bad egg related incidents."

Billed as The egg timer that entertains you. Well it does, and in a very different way.
Depending on how you like your egg, it plays a YouTube video of the proper length to perfectly boil it.

liNk

-----Raspberry-Shortbread Cookie Tarts-------------------

2010-01-27T08:15:00.002-05:00

I'll be trying this recipe on February 12th. So I'll let you know how it goes.... can't go wrong with shortbread, jam, meringue.... mmmm..

• 2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup seedless raspberry jam
• 8 large egg whites
• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Line a 9-by-13-inch baking pan with foil, leaving a 4-inch overhand on each end.

2. In a medium bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the butter with 1/2 cup of the granulated sugar at high speed until fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. Reduce the speed to low, add the flour and salt and beat just until blended, 2 to 3 minutes. Press the dough into the baking pan in an even layer. Score the shortbread lengthwise into thirds, then score crosswise 4 times to make 12 squares. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until lightly browned. Transfer the pan to a rack and let the shortbread cool completely, about 1 hour.

3. Lift the shortbread out of the pan. Spread the jam evenly over the shortbread. Using a serrated knife, cut the shortbread into 12 squares following the score lines. Transfer the shortbread squares to a large baking sheet.

4. In a large stainless steel bowl set over a pan of simmering water, stir the egg whites with the remaining 1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar until the sugar dissolves, about 1 minute. Remove the bowl from the heat. Using an electric mixer, beat the whites at medium speed until frothy. Increase the speed to high and beat until a stiff, glossy meringue forms, about 5 minutes longer.

5. Spoon 1/2 cup of the meringue onto each of the squares. Using the back of a spoon, pull up the meringue to form high spikes. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the meringue is golden brown. Let cool for 10 minutes minutes on the baking sheet on a rack, then transfer tarts to the rack and let cool completely. Sift confectioners' sugar over the tops before serving, if desired.

liNk

-----Be Aware!------------------------------------------------------

2010-01-26T09:24:00.001-05:00

-----New Definitions------------------------------------------------

2010-01-26T09:17:00.001-05:00

Selfish \sel’-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does
Relief \ree-leef’\: what trees do in the spring

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: what penguins see with

Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm

Paradox \par’-u-doks\: two physicians

Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Heroes \hee’-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does

Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist

Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.

Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with

Control \kon-trol’\: A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers \: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

Eclipse \i-klips’\: what an English barber does for a living

-----Throwback Tuesday!----------------------

2010-01-26T08:09:00.000-05:00

Hey Arnold!

Wanna buy this? Wow it's $35!

-----Cute Picture Friday: MY Doggie!-----------------------

2010-01-22T08:26:00.000-05:00

-----Friday Diversion: First Person Tetris------------------

2010-01-22T08:25:00.000-05:00

First Person Tetris

Looks easy enough right? Yeah, try it! I played for a few minutes and didn't even get 1 line.

submonkaaayed by emily v "try not to vomit"