Death's Blog

Death's Blog
Everyday Life with Death

A blog written by Death himself. It's great dark humor and you can even submit a question to death for him to answer.

Some quotes:


""You kill women all the time... some of them must be cute, no?"
I responded by explaining to her that it's very difficult to announce to a woman that you're Death, proceed to tell her that you've arrived to kill her, and then segue into "would you like to grab a cup of coffee afterward?" I also told my mother, that for whatever reason, I seem to be killing a lot of women in bars lately, and when I arrive in those sort of venues I find that it's very loud and crowded and difficult to carry on a discussion."

"(Reaper Nick and his scythe come flying down a chimney)
Reaper Nick: Hello! My name is Reaper Nick, and I have come to kill each and every member of your family. Merrrrrry Christmas!
(Mother shrieks and wails in utter terror)
Mother: Oh my! Oh my! oh my! The horror! The horror!
(In one swift motion, Reaper Nick empties a large sack of toys onto the carpet)
Mother (intrigued and excited): Ooh. Is that "tickle me Elmo?""

"After Nick's early killings were successful, word spread like crazy on Earth, where a buzz slowly began to build. Parents giddily teased their small children that, "if you hear the jingle jangle of bells on Christmas Eve, you know that it's either Santa on his magical reindeer slay.... or Reaper Nick coming to kill the family!" It wasn't long before children actually began feeling disappointed if it was indeed Santa who had come to visit them, as they secretly hoped every year to catch a glimpse of the black hooded entity with his magical flying reindeer Hearse."


(red font, for death)